The Finch at the Feeder

: - \ <---The Proverbial Long Face.


The Shimmy

"like if you're playing Clue, and it is really hard, and no one can figure out the mystery, and then your dad realizes he never put the three cards in the case envelope and instead just passed them all out. then anytime your family wants to play clue again, someone goes "don't let dad be in charge of the cards!" and everyone kinda laughs and winks at him, and your dad has a red face, and he's smiling too. and then, while you're playing, the family cat jumps on the table, and mom goes "looks like someone wants to be a detective!" and your little brother goes "he can be on my team!" and there is just so much laughing."


"every night at 2:20 am, nathan comes downstairs for a midnight snack. it is usually leftovers; occasionally it is ice cream or nacho chips. after he finishes his snack, cleans up and heads back upstairs, he always sees a dark ghost standing by his front door. it used to startle him, but anymore he is used to it. he's even started saying 'hello ghost' when he's reached the third or forth step. he's come to regard the ghost as his only friend. today, nathan lost his favourite black coat. tonight, his best friend will be gone, too."





"gentle jeffery burst into flames next to the telescope. people came running in towards jeffery! "please, please help" cried jeffery. two middle-aged ladies and a retired professor hit him with golf clubs for burning the telescope."


""yum," said georgie to margaret on their first date, "this sure is good soup." "i know," replied margaret, softly, "it's made of several different kinds of poisons and there are also small children in the recipe." the soup was so good that georgie could not stop eating. "what good soup." he said."


"there are six cheerful pigeons on a roof. "this is a nice roof," commented one pigeon. they griped together about the weather. one of the larger pigeons was a bomb."


"4:25! 4:25! said the alarm clock. jasper punched it. "ouch! that must hurt!" jasper looked in his closet and pulled out a....GIANT HAND!!!! "i must use this today!" the GIANT HAND told him where to go. "you must to go to mayberry street!" "ok i will" guess what was on mayberry street? the LAUNDROMAT! jasper and the GIANT HAND went inside, but poor jasper had to hold the door open for people. "GET OUT!" said the guy at the counter. "hey man, i'm just doing my laundry and you're yelling all the time at me especially when i just walked in the door" the GIANT HAND took jasper gently by the shoulder. "it's time." "ok" the counter guy took one look and BAM! BAM! BAM! actually there were only two BAM!s but it's ok that there are three but remember there were only two. "i love you GIANT HAND" "i love you jasper""




Some Videos.

Much has been made of the complexities and mystery behind Sigur Rós' lyrics. There is a rumor circulating that these guys are from Iceland, but I say that's a crock.

The truth is, these guys are just messing with our heads. If you listen closely to Glósóli, for instance, you'll learn that it's an entire song about a Chinese food craving. Here are some sample lyrics--see for yourself.

Glósóli - Sigur Rós


0:30-0:40 A ten-second yawn.

0:43 I want some food / after this day of dread...

0:56 And Carrot stew / ain't cutting it.

1:13 I have a goat small / (to goat) no, I won't hurt you.

1:35 There's only one thing... / where's that menu?

1:45 Oh, it's here!

1:57 Crab Rangoon!

2:00-3:40 (The narrator waits and waits, mumbling to himself about politics)

3:41 Oh, here is food!

3:55 Yeah, my food!

4:08 Oh yeah, my food!

4:16 Thanks man...

4:20 I LOVE THIS FOOD!

4:34 Oh YEAH! This FOOD! / Crab rangoon! Wontons too! / Noodle dish! Taste the squish! / I will certainly have leftovers!

Cloverfield spoiler alert:

It turns out someone was just playing "Brain Stew" on really good speakers.

For the past month or so (maybe more) I've been celebrating the end of my college career by misbehaving. While the experts, with their academic offices and ever-wagging forefingers, would tell me I should be searching for a job, polishing my resume, thinking about the future and getting my affairs in order (that's what they tell the dying to do!), I've decided to go a slightly different route. That is, the class-skipping, late-paper-turning-in, overspending, Jameson-and-orange-juice-drinking, illegal-cigar-smoking, oversleeping, assignment-ignoring, good-TV-watching, trip-taking, concert-going, excuse-making route. The fun route, as it's also called.

What has come over me? A readiness for the future, I think. It doesn't help that I'm in limbo about so much of my future because I'm waiting to hear whether or not I'll be getting a certain job through Ball State for next year. The answer will determine so much of my future (whether or not I'll be in grad school, where I will live, how much I'll be making, when I can start a new job, whether or not I'll be eating in The Retreat every day...) that, without an answer, the future is pretty darn intangible. Until I hear, I'm more or less stuck floating around eating Cheez-Its and browsing Uncrate.

(In case someone in my family, or a potential employee, has come across this blog, it isn't half as bad as I make it sound. Exaggeration is an all-too-acceptable {and quite belove'd} literary technique.)

Still, though. I'm not quite the go-getter I feel like I should be.


What's keeping me off the mark? Lots of things!

1) My new bike, for instance. Stevi and I both got bikes, actually, and we've been riding them quite a bit ever since we purchased. Tonight, we even rode to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner, which is just about 4 miles. That's a more serious workout than I've done in quite a while.

2) Online shopping. Thanks to my huge tax refund, I've had some money free up, even though I just bought the Sentra. Over the past week or two, I've purchased online from J.Crew, Express, Topman, SkinID, and McSweeney's. That's just what I can name off the top of my head. I also bought a sweet new backpack at target and I'm seriously considering ordering four of these for Stevi and I.

3) (I'm embarrassed to say) television. I've never really been a TV watcher (I've always been faithful to about two shows at a time, but otherwise went for movies or books instead), but lately it's crazy. I faithfully watch LOST, Important Things with Demetri Martin, Scrubs, Big Love, Breaking Bad, Flight of the Conchords, Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and (though I've taken a break recently) The Sopranos. WTF. That's too much. Thankfully, a couple of these shows just had their final episode. Here, my workload breathes a sigh of relief.

4) Books! Ever since AWP I've been working on probably 4 or 5 books at a time, switching back and forth like a fickle lover, perusing, browsing, and only occasionally hunkering down. While this is definitely the thing I feel least guilty about, it is no less time-consuming than any of the others. Who discerns between a good and a bad addiction?

5) Food. Geez, I love eating. I eat Stevi's cooking, I go out, I cook, I snack, I masticate whatever is in front of me and nourish myself into oblivion. Seriously, with my appetite, I'm amazed I get anything done.

6) I've been sleeping like a proverbial mo'fo lately. Probably from all the late hours spent doing everything above.

7-?) Working, going to various concerts, socializing, sexual exploits, cuddling, re-organizing, lazing about, pontificating, bar-going, etc.


This seems like I'm unhappy, but I'm really not. Quite the opposite, actually. I know my days of relative freedom are finite and fast approaching their demise. I may as well live it up. Until summer, when I'll be going barf-crazy trying to learn German in like 6 weeks, I'm toeing the line and cozying up to the bare minimum. How many more chances will I get?




(I feel like the guys who did this instead of getting out of the car to move the stick.)